Trust-Fund Brats

Ten years ago today, the Boston Red Sox defeated the New York Yankees, 13-1, at Fenway Park. Pedro Martinez was at the height of his dominance, pitching seven shutout innings and striking out twelve, while aging Roger Clemens went just two innings, giving up five runs (perhaps he forgot his magic injection that day?). In a vacuum, that sounds like a pretty good day: any time the Yankees get embarrassed is a great time, and if Roger Clemens gets to take the fall, even better.

However, that was the lone win for the Sox in the 1999 ALCS, as they went on to lose the series to the Yankees, four games to one. Of course, the Bronx Bombers were en route to their third Championship in four years, and the Sox were about to head into their eighty-first year without one.

Our old friend Pedro got absolutely ROBBED of a win this afternoon, as he pitched - you guessed it - seven innings of shutout baseball. Unfortunately for #45, the Phillies only gave him one run to work with, and then the bullpen coughed it up in the eighth. As much as I want the Yankees to be humiliated (read: eliminated as soon as possible), how epic would a Phils/Yanks World Series be? If Pedro could shut down the Yanks one more time, it would make their defeat even sweeter, if that's possible.

I miss you, Pedro!

I don't hate the Yankees now like I hated them ten years ago (partly because I was nine years old then, and I hated spinach more than baseball teams). In 1999, I hated the Yankees for having what we didn't: a World Series win (and some to spare!). In examining my current disdain, I came up with a perfect analogy to communicate my feelings.

To me, the Yankees are like that trust-fund kid in college... You know, the one who can do no wrong because Daddy and his credit card can bail him/her out of any problem; the one who can travel the world and take unpaid internships; the one who has never had to work, and if they did, it was to pad their resume. They've had everything handed to them, and they feel entitled to such treatment. If they're not the best at something, they throw a fit, and Daddy fixes it with his money and influence.

I can't stand those people, and that's exactly who the Yankees are: Hank and Hal are exhibits A and B. They missed the playoffs last year, and Daddy bought them whatever they wanted. It makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. I understand that the Sox are not the struggling poor kids in this analogy: that role is reserved for the likes of the Pirates, Nationals, and Royals (they're the kid that had to work all through high school to pay the family bills). The Red Sox (and the Angels, Phillies, and Dodgers) are more like the upper-middle class guy: the one who goes to college only because he gets some financial aid, and probably works part- or full-time in the summers.

I hate the Yankees because I hate people who feel entitled, who think that they DESERVE their good fortune, who think that everyone has the advantages they've been blessed enough to get. Right now, the Angels are losing in Game 1 of the ALCS: here's hoping for some divine intervention.

Yo, Angelica, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let your finish, but the Steinbrenners are the best spoiled brats of all time! Of all time!