We love the Red Sox... but they love each other more

GIF via Surviving Grady

One of the things Red Sox fans are most famous for is our undeniable (and at times a little creepy) level of devotion to the team. We've all been guilty of letting our fandom get the best of us; indeed, last night on twitter there were several implied offers of sexual favors for the heroes of Game 4... and while most of those were from straight women (maybe including me), that wasn't the case across the board.

But not so fast, Red Sox Nation. If you, like me, want to kiss the glorious beards of our local nine in gratitude, you'll have to get in line, because David Ross has beaten you to the punch.

Ross is just paying it forward: Mike Napoli planted one on the backup catcher during Game 6 of the ALCS, in celebration of Shane Victorino's grand slam.

It's hardly a secret that professional athletes often express their affection for teammates in physical ways. Between good luck butt pats, thanks-for-the-touchdown hugs, and handshakes that are more elaborate than wedding vows, professional sports can be just as homoerotic as your average episode of Glee.

But it's more than business as usual for the 2013 Red Sox. Their love for one another shines through on the bleakest of days - and when they win... well, they take "bromoerotic" to a whole new level.

"It's the pitching, stupid."

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For all the shenanigans that went on last night, from the successful Big Papi pep talk to the game-ending pickoff of Kolten Wong, it would be easy to forget the most important piece of the victory. To paraphrase former President Bill Clinton, "It's the pitching, stupid."

The storyline coming into the game was all Clay Buchholz all the time. Buchholz had infamously declared that he thought he had "one more start" in him, and the internet went absolutely wild with speculation over his velocity and effectiveness before he ever took the mound.

Once he made it out onto the field, all the doom and gloom predictors took one look at the radar gun as confirmation of their worst fears. Buchholz hit 90 mph just a handful of times, but he allowed only a single run (unearned) in four full innings. As John Farrell said, "he gave us everything he could."

After Buchholz left, Felix Doubront came in, pitched 2.2 scoreless innings, and earned the win. Many of us scratched our heads when Farrell pulled Doubront in favor of Craig Breslow - the biggest error of the night, as it turned out, because Breslow immediately allowed an inherited runner to score.

But then Junichi Tazawa came in and put out the fire, allowing the Red Sox to escape the seventh inning with their lead intact.

Game 6 starter John Lackey came in for the eighth inning, faced four batters, and held the lead for Koji Uehara, who picked off Wong to end the game.

It was a true team effort, and I want to make sure none of these contributions get overlooked. Buchholz's gutsy start fell far short of his regular season standard, but he battled harder than any starter I've seen this postseason.

John Lackey was on his side day, so his pitching an inning won't effect his ability to start on Wednesday - but the difference between throwing a side session in the bullpen and a meaningful eight inning in a World Series game cannot be overstated. Though it's been nine years since Lackey threw a pitch in relief (to David Ross, of all people), he handled it like the professional he is.

Doubront was fantastic, Tazawa reliable - and of course, Koji Uehara was excellent.

After a night where Jonny Gomes was the main story, there wouldn't be a story at all without the combined efforts of Buchholz, Doubront, Lackey, Tazawa, and Uehara. It was the pitching, stupid.

The Red Sox have more fun than your team

Things I learned from Intentional Talk this week:

• Ryan Dempster described Junichi Tazawa’s locker as “a warehouse to a Costco.”
• Clay Buchholz does NOT want to share an ice bath with Josh Beckett.
• Will Middlebrooks says Mike Napoli (sunbathing on the pitchers mound) spends the most time looking in the mirror.
• Jarrod Saltalamacchia says he kissed Skip Schumaker’s wife.
• Jake Peavy would sing “My Heart Will Go On” with Celine Dion at her concert
• Jonny Gomes really wants to take a cross country roadtrip with Peavy, and Peavy was like, “Aiight.”
• Peavy bought the Indian Chief statue from a cigar shop in San Francisco.
• Peavy has vowed that the entire team will take a cross country roadtrip on a duckboat if the Red Sox win the World Series, and the Indian Chief statue is going to drive, and they’ll stop in Vegas to see Celine Dion.
• David Ross has purchased “feminine products” for his wife, and found the experience embarrassing.
• Jonny Gomes on Mike Napoli’s celebration antics: “If you had that body, why would you wear a shirt?” Gomes suggested Napoli play all nine innings shirtless.
• Gomes offered Kevin Millar a job as his “man-nanny.”
• Millar then invited Gomes to a “sleepover” at his hotel.
• This team shares a beard brush.

#GetBeard

Three months ago, I wrote a post extolling the virtues of the various beards of the 2013 Boston Red Sox. It was intended as a whimsical post: I thought the scruffy beards were fun, and fitting for the kind of "anything goes" personality the team was developing. 

It has since become the most viewed post on my blog, as Red Sox fans actively search for information about their favorite bearded baseball team. The Red Sox social media team has finally caught on to this phenomenon, and responded with enthusiasm, producing images like these:

For Twitter

For Facebook

They've introduced a hashtag (now useable on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram) for fans to use when expressing their love for the 2013 Red Sox: #GetBeard.

They're even using the beard-mania to get fans into Fenway (I can't believe attendance is a problem right now, but that's a different issue), at the lowest price I've seen in my lifetime:

That's right, bearded Sox fans: you can see the Red Sox take on the Orioles next Wednesday for just $1! And for the ladies, children, and sparsely whiskered gentlemen, fake beards and even drawn-on beards will get you that same incredibly low ticket price.

None of this would be possible without the incredible beards of the men on the field: though Mike Napoli and Jonny Gomes have the fluffiest beards on the team, nearly all of their teammates are giving them a run for their money.

By far the greatest unforeseen consequence of a bearded team is how much they all seem to revel in the beards of their cohorts; every time a bearded player returns to the dugout after a successful play or at-bat, his teammates tug on his beard in jubilation:

It's part of what makes this team so easy to love: the camaraderie is impossible to miss, and their never-give-up attitude and winning record are just icing on the cake. As the Red Sox continue their (hopefully) relentless march back into the playoffs, I'm developing beard envy - and though it's a problem I never anticipated having, I'm totally okay with it.

Clubhouse camaraderie... even on days off

Every time I say I couldn't love the 2013 Red Sox any more, they make me reconsider. Even after a disappointing stretch where they went 3-4 against the lowly Astros and the surprising Royals, I can't wait to tune in to tonight's game in Toronto.

The Sox left Kansas City on Sunday night, and spent the off day yesterday in Toronto. Certainly no one could blame the players if they took the day to relax away from baseball, before gearing up for tonight.

Of course, relaxing away from baseball is a foreign concept to Dustin Pedroia, and it seems he found some cohorts to take to Rogers Centre with him for yesterday's Blue Jays/A's game.

Jonny Gomes, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, and Pedroia scored seats behind home plate to watch the Blue Jays take a 5-1 beatdown at the hands of the A's. Doubtless the trio spent most of the game looking for an edge in the upcoming three-game set against Toronto.

Photo via @Alleycat17

I love everything about this photo. I love that Gomes and Salty seemingly made an effort to remain unrecognized, with a hat and sunglasses. I love that Pedroia - by far the most recognizable of the three - made no such effort. I love that they're basically wearing matching outfits. I even love whatever strange hair situation Salty was dealing with.

Mostly I love that on an off day, they not only chose to spend their time with teammates, but decided to spend it scoping out the competition... because world-class scouting and video departments can only do so much.

It wasn't all seriousness for nine innings, as Gomes and Salty enjoyed some ballpark food late in the game - no official word on Pedroia's dietary choices.

Photo via @Alleycat17

There's obviously nothing wrong with players who take an off day and spend it with their families, or by themselves. But there's something special about a team that truly enjoys each other's company enough to seek one another out when they don't have to.

The word "intangibles" gets thrown around a lot in sports, just like the phrase "clubhouse chemistry," and both things are useless when teams don't have the talent to back them up. The 2013 Red Sox have that talent. They have intangibles, and chemistry, and the greatest collection of beards since the California Gold Rush of the mid-19th century.

I have to stop saying that I couldn't love this team any more, because they just keep proving me wrong.

Winning tactics

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Apparently I was mistaken when I assumed that the Red Sox disliked the West Coast as much as I do. Of course, since my hatred for West Coast road trips burns with the intensity of a thousand suns, it would be highly unlikely that anyone could loathe them nearly as much as me. As far as the Sox go, it actually seems like quite the opposite: they haven't lost a game since the day I tried to pin their losing on geography.

Of course, the team has different ideas about what might affect their win-loss record, and it's nowhere near as mundane as simply playing well or poorly. Apparently while in Seattle Mike Napoli and Jonny Gomes took a little rendezvous to the famous Pike Place Market for a meal, and brought back a bouquet of flowers as a prank.

The flowers have had a place in the dugout for all four games since then, and the Red Sox have won every single one of them. Jose Iglesias has been assigned the happy task of transporting the flower arrangement from park to bus to plane to park, and has reportedly been successful in keeping the plants alive.

I don't think anyone on the team has delusions that the colorful good luck charm will make it through the All-Star break, but it's likely that it will at least last until tomorrow evening. Given the results of his last few outings, Jon Lester could certainly use all the luck he can get for tonight's start - hopefully the magic of the Pike's Place flowers can last just a little bit longer.

Exactly as planned

Last night's game went as well as you could hope (excepting Andrew Bailey's seventh inning struggles), as the red hot Red Sox bats managed to oust Blue Jays starter Josh Johnson just one out into the fourth inning. Meanwhile, rookie Allen Webster managed to lower his abysmal 11.25 ERA to a merely terrible 9.50 with six innings pitched and four earned runs allowed.

Webster did improve upon his last outing, allowing six hits in six innings, as opposed to 8 hits in just 4.1 innings last week in Detroit, and he showed pretty good control in last night's game, walking just two batters and striking out three. Webster is definitely improving, and as this was his first season playing even as high as AAA, I'd say he has a very bright future; indeed, he's making me feel woefully unaccomplished, as the righthander is nearly a month younger than I am, and already a big league pitcher.

Webster departed in the sixth inning with a lead, looking to earn his first major league win, but Andrew Bailey came in and recorded two strikeouts before allowing a two-out home run to Edwin Encarnacion, tying the game and erasing Webster as the pitcher of record. Andrew Miller pitched the end of the seventh and the eighth, earning himself a win when Jonny Gomes put the Red Sox on top for good with a pinch hit RBI single, followed by a Jarrod Saltalamachia walk that forced in an insurance run.

For the third day in a row, Koji Uehara, aptly described by Globe reported Peter Abraham as "the game's most exitable 38-year-old," earned the save and copious high fives from his teammates, coaches, translators, and training staff.  Unfortunately for the Jays, their bullpen didn't come through to the extent that Boston's did, as they needed five pitchers to get through the final 4.2 innings.

You really couldn't script things much better than this from the Red Sox point of view, as they've already guaranteed themselves the series split with two games to go. They're still in line for a four-game sweep of a division rival, and they've put themselves in good position to win the final two games, as they've pretty effectively abused the Jays bullpen for two straight days.

A blown save and a walkoff win

Felix Doubront deserved a win tonight. Sure, there were a few times this year when Doubront got to claim a "W" by the grace of god and unreasonably quality run support, but he was most certainly cheated this evening.

After eight shutout innings, Doubront could have reasonably returned to the mound to pitch the ninth - his pitch count was at 93 pitches - but John Farrell called for the closer, instead. And Andrew Bailey couldn't get it done. He gave up the game-tying home run on the second pitch of the inning, and that was that for Doubront's win bid.

It was a strange day for baseball all around, as the afternoon game (already a makeup game after inclement weather in April) included a three hour rain delay. It felt somewhat like there were three separate games played at Fenway Park today, what with the long baseball-less stretch between the first half of the day game and its conclusion, and then the nightcap with all it's shenanigans.

Thankfully for the Red Sox (and the otherwise disgraced Andrew Bailey), Jonny Gomes absolutely CRUSHED a two-run walkoff homer in the bottom of the ninth inning, allowing the Red Sox to take both games today. Of course, that doesn't deliver justice to Felix Doubront, as he'll still be saddled with a no-decision after what can only be termed as an incredible start. Here's hoping there's more performances like that in his future - albeit with better outcomes.

The Bearded Boston Red Sox

The Boston Red Sox have always been pretty lax when it comes to the physical appearances of their players. Until this season, there was no dress code for players on road trips (Terry Francona apparently just requested that they dress at least as well as he did, and Bobby V. kept expectations pretty much the same). John Farrell has changed that, as he has now required that his players wear a suit jacket when traveling, though ties are apparently optional.

But anything beyond that is up to the players discretion. The Yankees are [in]famous for never allowing facial hair below the mouth on their players, and no haircuts longer than the ears - a curious distinction that prevented Johnny Damon from manning the outfield resembling Jesus, but allowed Jason Giambi to parade around for years sporting a mustache that made him look like a '70s porn star.

The Red Sox have no such rules about hair length or personal grooming, and we've seen some interesting personal style over the last decade, from the aforementioned Damon, to the flowing deadlocks of Manny Ramirez, to the famous goatee (and one-time fu manchu) sported by Kevin Youkilis. Overall, players have been somewhat scruffy much of the time, but this season has included many more full beards than I remember seeing.

These styles include what I like to call the sometimes- or sparsely-bearded, pictured below:

Left to right, top row first: Pedro Ciriaco, Franklin Morales, Felix Doubront, Koji Uehara, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Junichi Tazawa, Shane Victorino, and John Lackey.

Of course, the semi-beardedness of some of these men might have more to do with sheer laziness than any actual attempt at maintaining facial hair. We see some of them clean-shaven at times, scruffy at others, and sometimes even with groomed goatees.

I think my personal favorite among the barely-there-beard coalition is Clayton Mortensen:

The tiny spot just underneath his mouth is often slightly off-center, but it's obvious that it takes significant maintenance to stay baby smooth and scruff free outside that one square inch. The style is too small to be a goatee, but I just can't use the phrase "soul patch" and Clayton Mortensen in the same sentence without giggling.

But the best of all belong to those who have allowed their facial hair to become a full fledged bushy beard. 

Left to right, top row first: Andrew Miller, Jonny Gomes, David Ross, Mike Napoli, Dustin Pedroia, Mike Carp, Ryan Dempster, and David Ortiz.

Napoli and Ortiz almost don't qualify, as they keep their beards so short, but one look at the precise shaping will tell you that these are men who take pride in their facial hair. Miller has even toned down his look from the beginning of the season, for a few weeks he looked positively wild. Miller, Gomes, Ross, Pedroia, Carp, and Dempster all sport what I like to refer to as "lumberjack beards."

Perhaps another time I'll go through the roster and compare the stats of the many bearded players to the few baby-faced ones, but for now this post was just for fun. It's much more entertaining when each player manages to showcase a personal look on the field, despite the fact that they all must dress alike. I'll take the style and personality of these Red Sox over the stuffiness and uniformity of the Yankees any day of the week.

Pitching is the story

Just as the story in the Red Sox success so far in 2013 has been the pitching, the loss this evening was all about the men on the mound. Jon Lester was less than sharp, giving up five earned runs in six innings pitched, before giving way to Junichi Tazawa, who gave up two earned runs of his own and took the loss. Joel Hanrahan, fresh off the disabled list, took the ball for the bottom of the eighth inning and gave up the ninth and final Blue Jays run of the night.

And so even on a night when the offense scored seven runs, the Red Sox suffered the loss. David Ortiz led the drive with a home run and four RBIs, while Mike Carp and Jonny Gomes also had homers. But it doesn't really matter how many runs you score if your pitchers can't stop the other team from rounding the bases.

There are obviously going to be nights like this. I'm not worried about Jon Lester - he's been so incredibly solid so far, this is just a blip on the radar. I'm also unconcerned with Junichi Tazawa, because his stuff is great, and I'm confident that he'll go back to being an important part of the bullpen. I do have to admit to being somewhat worried about Joel Hanrahan - but even if he turns out to be an enormous flop, Andrew Bailey has proven he can be the everyday closer.

The Yankees are about to pick up a game on us (they're currently experiencing the joy of playing the Houston Astros), but the Sox have Clay Buchholz on the mound tomorrow, going for his sixth win. I'm not worried.

Jonny Gomes: Mr. Congeniality

Jonny Gomes has played for five teams in his major league career, and his numbers at the plate have never really been spectacular, especially for an outfielder. So what business did the Red Sox have giving the 32-year-old two years and $10 million?

It's one of the luxuries that the Red Sox have being a big market team - sure, when it comes down to it, the Yankees can outspend us, but not many other teams can (though I'm still thanking the Dodgers for picking up the tab for Carl Crawford, Josh Beckett, and Adrian Gonzalez). It means that the Red Sox can overpay for that dirtiest of baseball words: intangibles.

No, I'm not talking about Derek Jeter and his "calm eyes" or whatever weird, fawning description Joe Buck has for him these days (Captain DL?), but rather about things like good positioning, and being a positive presence in the clubhouse.  Particularly last season, the Red Sox had trouble with the mood in the clubhouse - to be sure, they didn't have the best manager to handle that kind of issue, but the result was the same: poor performance, bad moods, and surly interviews with the press.

Enter 2013 and Jonny Gomes. Gomes has struggled at the plate to start the season, but he hasn't let it get to him, being unfailingly upbeat in the dugout and with reporters. When asked about his contributions to the team so far this season, Gomes emphasized defense: "There's two L's in this game. There's leather and lumber. Hopefully you can try and bring both every day. But you definitely have to leave the yard with at least bringing one."

When specifically prompted to talk about his own struggles at the plate (Gomes is hitting just .189 this season with a single RBI and no home runs), he shrugged it off: "When the team’s winning, no one is in a slump. No one at all. I don’t consider myself in a slump. I just haven’t started yet."

That kind of hopeful attitude is just the kind of thing that young, slumping players like Will Middlebrooks need to see from the veterans in their midst. The Red Sox certainly overpaid for Gomes - being a good role model while hitting below the Mendoza Line isn't worth $5 million a season, even if you spend all 162 games making your teammates laugh in the clubhouse and charming the press. But the Red Sox CAN overpay Jonny Gomes, without affecting their financial ability to after other pieces they need - we get to have our cake, and eat it too.

2013 Bill James Projections - Jonny Gomes

2011: 120 games, .209 BA, .325 OBP, .389 SLG, 14 HR, 43 RBI
2012 projection: 120 games, .240 BA, .333 OBP, .439 SLG, 16 HR, 53 RBI
2012: 99 games, .262 BA, .377 OBP, .491 SLG, 18 HR, 47 RBI
2013 projection: 113 games, .236 BA, .337 OBP, .441 SLG, 16 HR, 49 RBI

Jonny Gomes was one of the first signings the Red Sox made this offseason, as he became an official member of the team on November 21, just three weeks after the World Series ended.  Gomes has been remarkably consistant throughout his career, and while his numbers aren't exactly eye-popping for a corner outfielder, predictability is something the Red Sox could most definitely use.

Gomes isn't a terribly impressive defensive left fielder, but he should be able to patrol the small area in front of the Green Monster with less worry. Though he spent a lot of time last season as a designated hitter in Oakland, Gomes has also played all three outfield positions in his career.

It remains to be seen whether Gomes will take on the bulk of playing time in left field, or if there will be a platoon including him, Daniel Nava, and/or Ryan Kalish. Whatever the case, hopefully left field is less plagued by injuries in 2013 than it has been in recent years.