Geeking out over Ichiro Suzuki

I once theorized that Ichiro Suzuki was secretly related to Spiderman, given his success in climbing fences and robbing homeruns.

I don't regret that comparison at all - Ichiro is crazy flexible, unreasonably quick, and ridiculously agile, and he very well might be fighting crime in his off time.

But I would like to make a different superhero comparison for Ichiro, this time to one of the X-Men. The Yankees outfielder is thirty-nine going on twenty-five, seemingly immune to the scrounges of aging, and he's impressively injury-resistant (the fewest games he's ever played in a season? 146). Yesterday, Ichiro was in a car accident that left his SUV completely totalled, and him without a scratch.

I think you can see where I'm going with this: Ichiro is self-healing and clearly ageless. I know nobody has seen adamantium claws slide from between his knuckles, but can anyone prove they don't? It's become clear to me that Ichiro Suzuki is a mutant in the mold of Wolverine, with a dash of Spiderman (this kind of splicing is totally allowed, because both characters exist in the Marvel universe).

I was devastated when the Yankees dealt for Ichiro last season, because he's one of my all time favorite players, and it's always a bummer to have to like a Yankee - not to mention my naive wish that he play for the Mariners his entire career. I think it's especially unfair for the Yankees to be allowed to have a superhero like Ichiro when they already have an android on their pitching staff (Mariano Rivera), but apparently badassery isn't considered a performance enhancing drug, and as such is not regulated by MLB.

Local hero > local 9

Last night's spring training game was a strange one for people from my hometown. Being from the White Mountains in New Hampshire, most people are diehard Red Sox fans; sure, you get people transplanted from other parts of the country who bring their fandoms with them, but anybody local is a Red Sox fan for life.

But last night, there was a conflict of interest. No, not because there are an unusual amount of Pittsburgh expats around, but because local hero Jeff Locke was starting for the Pirates. Locke took the loss, giving up three runs in the first inning, but the thrill of watching him pitch on NESN won't wear off for residents of Mount Washington Valley anytime soon.

Unlike Californians and Floridians who frequently see their local high school heroes playing in the bigs, Jeff Locke was a once-in-generation second round pick for northern New Hampshire. As such, he is followed closely by local fans, who are much more used to producing world class skiers than major league ballplayers.

It's simple to root for Locke when he's playing against 28 of the thirty major league teams, but there's a certain feeling of conflict when he faces off against the local nine. Most New Hampshirites hoped that the Red Sox would select him in the 2006 draft, but the Atlanta Braves got there first (Locke ended up with the Pirates as part of the 2009 Nate McLouth trade).

Yesterday was the first time Locke faced off against the Red Sox, and given this year's schedule, it will be the last for a while (barring a trade, of course). But I know I'm not alone in saying that yesterday I rooted for Locke, and I'll root for him again - the Boston Red Sox will always be a household name in baseball, but watching a local hero become a national name is something new and exciting.

Season tickets no longer scarce

The Boston Red Sox are losing season ticket holders in droves - to the point that they are having players and executives call deserters personally to try to entice them to stay. Upon reading about this turn of events, I was briefly tempted to add my name to the list, but then I remembered that I don't have any money.

I don't know how the Sox brass can be surprised by this turn of events, since the Boston Red Sox haven't won a playoff game since 2008, and haven't even played in the postseason since 2009.  Meanwhile the ticket prices are among the highest in baseball, but even if they were much lower the Red Sox would be in fine financial shape, as NESN would continue to be lucrative.

Fans - and especially season ticket holders, who shell out for dozens of games - are tired of being expected to pay premium prices for a product that has been overwhelmingly mediocre recently.  The resale market is in dire straights, as anyone who has been to a game in the last year could tell you; you can hear the desperation of the scalpers camped out between the Kenmore T stop and Yawkey Way.

There's something to be said for buying low, since the Red Sox will recover eventually (whether that takes one year or five) and season tickets won't be so available when that rebound eventually comes. Personally, I'm going to keep buying my tickets one game at a time, and capitalize on the below face value rates I'm sure to encounter on mid-week games this April.