The end of an era: Jason Varitek retires

I thought I could hold it together, I really did. And then, about a dozen words into his speech, Jason Varitek began to cry - and all of Red Sox Nation (including yours truly) followed suit.  Tek has been playing for the Boston Red Sox since I was seven years old - I literally cannot recall what any of the catchers who came before him look like.

Jason Varitek is the only Red Sox player I've ever met in real life, and some of you might remember this post, where I posted my favorite pictures of Jason Varitek's Celebrity Putt Putt and gushed about how my life was made complete when I handed the Captain his runaway golf ball.

Over the lifespan of this blog (about three years), I have posted about Varitek forty times (not including this one) - accounting for almost ten percent of all my posts. Though not my current favorite player (if you don't know who that distinction belongs to, you must be new here), Jason Varitek means a lot to me.

Tek is a Red Sox stalwart, a Dirt Dog, a leader. His teammates respect him, and the fans love him. He reduced Red Sox Nation to tears several times over this evening at his retirement press conference with sentiments like thanking Terry Francona for "letting me sail with you and captain your ship," and "The hardest thing to do is walk away from your teammates, and what they meant to you.''

Varitek has received tons of praise from teammates past and present (and some non-Sox) for his loyalty and work ethic (quotes gathered by @Jared_Carrabis):

• "He showed me how to be a player with honesty, hard work and integrity without ever having to say one word." - Jonathan Papelbon
• "He taught me how to be a leader & showed me how to be a champion... It was a honor and a pleasure to have been his teammate." - Johnny Damon
• "In my 23 years of professional baseball I never played with or against a more selfless and prepared player than Jason Varitek." - Curt Schilling
•  "I’ve always admired the way Jason played the game, and I appreciated the opportunity I had to get to know him throughout the years." - Derek Jeter
• "His first care was that his teammates succeeded even before himself. I have never seen a player so prepared for every game." - Mike Timlin
• "Although his leadership will be missed, his legacy in Red Sox history will be forged forever." - Tim Wakefield
• "Tek was hands down one of the best teammates I ever had... he was a true captain in every sense of the word." - Mike Lowell

Jason Varitek was always the consummate professional, even if he's declined offensively in the last few years. He always came prepared, even catching four no-hitters from four different pitchers (and might have had a fifth if Schilling hadn't shaken him off).  And, even though he refuses to autograph the picture, Jason Varitek did this:

 And if nothing else, we'll always love him for that.

Red Sox or rednecks?

As a native New Hampshirite, I'm well acquainted with what some people might call rednecks. The kind of people who not only like to hunt, they live to tell the tale of the one that got away.  Normally, these types of people are not millionaires, but in recent years the Red Sox have boasted more than a few legitmate rednecks as part of their roster.

First, there's the photographic evidence:

And then we have the terrifying stories, like this one about JD Drew from last Spring Training (courtesy of Boston.com's Extra Bases blog):

Drew said he was in a boat with his son once when they hooked an alligator with a fishing lure. He had his son hold the pole and took position to try and leap on the alligator.

"I figured I could get him myself," he said. "He was about five or six feet."

"With your bare hands?" I asked.

J.D. gave me his best "no, you stupid city boy" look.

"I had a knife," he said.

But the line snapped and the gator got away. J.D. missed his chance.

So next time you read about J.D. missing a game with a bad hamstring and consider complaining, consider that this is a guy who was willing to jump out of a perfectly good boat and attack a man-sized alligator with a knife. 

And now we have an anecdote about panthers, courtesy of Clay Buchholz (and Boston.com's Extra Bases blog):

A Fort Myers resident told me that the woods beyond the practice fields are known to have panthers and wild hogs.

According to Clay Buchholz, who knows of such things, panthers can be five or six feet long. "I'd want to shoot it before it could hunt me," Buchholz said.

New Hampshire would be proud to have them.

Josh Beckett is a BAMF

"I have yet to hit someone in the head and it's not on my list of fuckin' things to do."

The umpires said that resident badass Joshua Patrick Beckett was allowed to stay in the game yesterday after igniting a bench clearing confrontation with a wild pitch because "The Angels were the aggressors."  While that might be true, we all know the real reason Beckett wasn't tossed was that the umpiring crew was scared of the Texan's famous wrath.

I mean, a man who is unintimidated by Angels manager Mike Scioscia - even threatening to fight him, at one point in the scramble - is unlikely to think twice about waiting out an umpire in the parking lot to, ahem, give him a piece of his mind. Or, barring rational behavior from the fiery pitcher, Beckett might choose to call up his old hunting buddy Mike Timlin and challenge the crew chief, Joe West, to a good old fashioned Texas duel.  So, for all the posturing about Beckett not being to blame, it's obvious that the umpires were just too scared to offend the Sox ace.

But can you blame them?  I wouldn't put it past Beckett to have thrown near Abreu intentionally after he had the gall to call time so far into his delivery.  But does anyone for a second believe that if Josh Beckett really wanted to hit Bobby Abreu, he would have missed?  The only surprising thing about the whole scenario was that Boston's favorite badass didn't go on to win the game by whiffing every remaining Angel and celebrating with a fist pump, an f-bomb, and a tin.

"Come on Mikey, we can totally take him... Stop being such an f-ing wimp."