Five Minute Musings

1. I haven't had the chance to see Knuckleball! yet, but now I can't wait for this "sequel."  The spoof from MLB.com's Fan Cave features RA Dickey, Phil Niekro, and old friend Tim Wakefield as a crime-fighting trio.  The video (above) is just about ninety seconds, and it will probably be the best minute and a half of your day.
2. I don't know if you caught this story from Boston.com, but it features Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon, and Kevin Millar jumping into the jacuzzi with Pedro Martinez before a game in 2004.  There's also an aside from Pedro about strategic signing of the inside of the Monster "so Manny doesn't pee on it."
3. As you know, my roommate and I went to the final home game of the season and unveiling of the All Fenway Team last week.  The whole thing was incredible, and since we temporarily commandeered dugout-side seats (until an usher kicked us out) I was able to take some great photos.  If you want to check them out, there are some posted on the Tumblr attached to this blog, or you can Like this blog on Facebook and see the full album.
4. Ben Cherington as good as said that Bobby V. won't be returning next season. No one is surprised, but what's next? Varitek is headed to the front office (and as I said in my last post, I don't think it would work - at least right now), and the All Fenway Team Manager is said to be interested in managing in Cleveland.  Who do you want to see in the role next season?
5. With the playoffs drawing closer, and the Red Sox so far out (and for so long) I've been thinking about whiuch team(s) I want to support through the postseason.  Yes, I'm a Red Sox fan, but I'm also a BASEBALL fan, and I need to have a few rooting interests. I've gone with the Rangers the last couple Red Sox-less postseasons (mostly because I love Ian Kinsler), but I have some other ideas this time around.  Are you going to hop on a postseason bandwagon? Boycott the playoffs entirely? Let me know in the comments!

A losing season and a rude awakening

It's official. Last night the Red Sox lost their 82nd game (and in spectacular fashion, by a score of 13-3 to the Tampa Bay Rays) to clinch their first losing season since 1997.  That's right, the last time the Red Sox were this bad, I was missing my two front teeth.

I grew up in a generation of lucky fans.  I missed the heartbreak of 1986 by four years, and I was too young during the 1994 strike to really understand what was going on.  Sure, I remember the gut-wrenching end to the 2003 postseason, with Tim Wakefield trudging off the mound dejected, sure he would be the next Bill-Buckner-esque scapegoat, but I remember the euphoria of 2004 and 2007 even more clearly.

The Red Sox of my youth were full of talents like Pedro Martinez and vintage Nomar Garciaparra, pre-traitor Johnny Damon and pre-steroid (at least pre-caught using steroids) Manny Ramirez, original dirt dog Trot Nixon, and pre-Captain Jason Varitek.

I've been spoiled. I got to enjoy this golden era of Boston sports without living through any of the real lean seasons.  Until this year.  I missed watching most of the games this summer while working at a camp, and most days I would check the scores and be more happy than sad that I hadn't seen the carnage live.

And now here we are heading into October.  The Red Sox are about as far from the postseason as I can remember - last year and in 2010 we were still in it at this point.  In 2009, we were swept from the postseason by the Angels.  The Red Sox may not have won a postseason series (or even a postseason game) since 2008, my freshman year in college - but they've been in the hunt every year.

Now that I've graduated, and been dumped into the cold, cruel world, the Red Sox seem to have had the same rude awakening I've had: no one is going to hand you anything.  The AL East is a tough division to survive in, and this year the Red Sox sank.  I'm not sure what kind of moves the front office will be looking at to make next year better than this one, but I have some ideas - starting with taking a long, hard look at Bobby V.

What are your thoughts on the first losing season in fourteen years? Any suggestions for offseason moves? Leave them in the comments.

Johnny Damon headed for the Tribe

 Just some of the photos that come up when you Google "Johnny Damon."

Old friend Johnny Damon has apparently signed with the Cleveland Indians for a one-year deal with "$1.25 million in base salary with $1.4 million," according to ESPN.com.

The Indians are off to a 1-4 start, and though that gives them a better winning percentage than the Red Sox, they have more reason to worry - namely the .176 team batting average and going 1-for-11with runners in scoring position.

The Tribe will be Damon's seventh team, and somehow he's never played in the National League, having played for Kansas City, Oakland, Boston, New York (Yankees), Detroit, and Tampa Bay.  Of course, we know him best as the once fun-loving Idiot who broke our collective hearts when he jumped ship for the Evil Empire after promising that he wouldn't.

He resurfaced in New York without his iconic hair and beard, and had some solid years for the Yankees, winning the World Series with them in 2009.  When he went off to the mid-west in 2010 to play for the Tigers, I for one thought that the healing could begin, but then he vetoed a waiver-trade back to us late in the year, and I decided to never look back.

Johnny Damon is a quality baseball player: he's approaching 3,000 hits, and by all accounts he's a great guy to have in the clubhouse. But I'll never forgive him for shunning us TWICE - and the second time it wasn't even about the money.  So Johnny Damon is becoming an Indian... maybe that's karma?

The end of an era: Jason Varitek retires

I thought I could hold it together, I really did. And then, about a dozen words into his speech, Jason Varitek began to cry - and all of Red Sox Nation (including yours truly) followed suit.  Tek has been playing for the Boston Red Sox since I was seven years old - I literally cannot recall what any of the catchers who came before him look like.

Jason Varitek is the only Red Sox player I've ever met in real life, and some of you might remember this post, where I posted my favorite pictures of Jason Varitek's Celebrity Putt Putt and gushed about how my life was made complete when I handed the Captain his runaway golf ball.

Over the lifespan of this blog (about three years), I have posted about Varitek forty times (not including this one) - accounting for almost ten percent of all my posts. Though not my current favorite player (if you don't know who that distinction belongs to, you must be new here), Jason Varitek means a lot to me.

Tek is a Red Sox stalwart, a Dirt Dog, a leader. His teammates respect him, and the fans love him. He reduced Red Sox Nation to tears several times over this evening at his retirement press conference with sentiments like thanking Terry Francona for "letting me sail with you and captain your ship," and "The hardest thing to do is walk away from your teammates, and what they meant to you.''

Varitek has received tons of praise from teammates past and present (and some non-Sox) for his loyalty and work ethic (quotes gathered by @Jared_Carrabis):

• "He showed me how to be a player with honesty, hard work and integrity without ever having to say one word." - Jonathan Papelbon
• "He taught me how to be a leader & showed me how to be a champion... It was a honor and a pleasure to have been his teammate." - Johnny Damon
• "In my 23 years of professional baseball I never played with or against a more selfless and prepared player than Jason Varitek." - Curt Schilling
•  "I’ve always admired the way Jason played the game, and I appreciated the opportunity I had to get to know him throughout the years." - Derek Jeter
• "His first care was that his teammates succeeded even before himself. I have never seen a player so prepared for every game." - Mike Timlin
• "Although his leadership will be missed, his legacy in Red Sox history will be forged forever." - Tim Wakefield
• "Tek was hands down one of the best teammates I ever had... he was a true captain in every sense of the word." - Mike Lowell

Jason Varitek was always the consummate professional, even if he's declined offensively in the last few years. He always came prepared, even catching four no-hitters from four different pitchers (and might have had a fifth if Schilling hadn't shaken him off).  And, even though he refuses to autograph the picture, Jason Varitek did this:

 And if nothing else, we'll always love him for that.

Idiots Remix: Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon to the Rays

[Screengrabbed from tampabayrays.com]

Yes, you've been hearing correctly. The Tampa Bay Rays have officially signed Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez for the 2011 season. Manny, of course, will spend the majority of his time as the designated hitter, while Damon will play left field, DH, and add some leadership to a club that's full of very promsing - but very young - talent.

As you all know, Ramirez and Damon were key pieces of the 2004 World Series Champion Red Sox, and while Damon skipped town for the Bronx in 2005, we had to put up with Manny being Manny until mid-2008, when he took his act out to "Mannywood" and the Dodgers.

Since being suspended for use of the women's fertility drug human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) early last season, Manny's power has been somewhat diminished, but it is also worth noting that the once-feared slugger is now 38-years old, and he wouldn't be the first hitter to lose some power as he ages. [Personally, I always thought that of all the players in baseball, Manny was the one who could get caught with a women's fertility medication and actually claim he wanted a baby - it's just Manny being Manny, right? But I digress.]

No doubt Ramirez's presence in the clubhouse will present Manager Joe Maddon with a new set of challenges, starting with Spring Training, when Manny's grandmother will develop yet another illness that will result in his tardiness. Maddon has certainly proven his mettle at managing teams full of the ambitions and egos of young budding stars, but Manny Ramirez is another enigma altogether. Surely the manager will look to Manny's former teammate Damon for some pointers, and possibly even to keep the aging Ramirez in line.

Besides his admittedly useful leadership skills, Damon's biggest value at this stage in his career comes from his ability to get on base consistently. Now out of the friendly short-porch confines of Yankee Stadium for a season, Damon's home runs have fallen from 24 in 2009 to just 8 in 2010 - a steep drop-off, even for a 36-year-old. Of course, Damon's arm strength is as questionable as ever, so it's likely that a good portion of the $5.25 million Damon will be paid next season is for his clubhouse presence.

Ramirez, on the other hand, has nothing to offer but his bat - his defense has never been impressive (and it's worsened with age), and he's more of a detriment than a help to most clubhouses, so he'll only be getting $2 million in 2011. Oh, how the mghty have fallen: Ramirez once demanded that the Sox not pick up his option for 2009 because $20 million dollars was not enough (TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS!), and now three years later, he's a bargain-basement pickup.

All said, I think this is an excellent move by the Rays, who have watched a huge chunk of their young talent walk away to greener pastures this winter. Manny and Johnny could fit in nicely in Tampa Bay (Maddon will likely let Manny leave his famous dreadlocks be, after all), and the two have tremendous upside. Plus, we'll get to see them at Fenway eleven times this season.

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For any of you wondering about my travels thus far, I'm currently deep in enemy territory in New York City for the start of my abroad program. I (of course) brought mostly Red Sox clothing, and so I've been getting the evil eye from more than a few New Yorkers. Last night at dinner, one even jokingly refused to serve me! I laughed, he laughed, and we both took our differences in stride, but I won't be surprised if I get some actual vitriol soon enough.... After all, they all must be pretty jealous of our stellar offseason, especially after the infamous Cliff Lee snub!

Say What? Waiver Rules and Johnny Damon.

Could this be in our future?

First of all, everybody take a nice, deep breath. There are 48 hours between the time that the Red Sox put a waiver claim on the oft-maligned Johnny Damon and the time that some action must be taken.

I understand that Red Sox Nation is currently in an uproar, which does nothing but expose our collective ignorance of how waiver claims actually work. This is particularly sad because I take pride in the fact that this fan base is always zealous and well-informed, and while the "zealous" part is covered by the shrieking emanating from all of New England, we're clearly not as wicked smahht as we like to think.

But no worries, friends. You don't have to admit to your baseball-obsessed neighbors and coworkers that you don't understand the waiver-wire, because I'm here to help explain.

As I'm sure you know, normal trades must be completed by the July 31st trading deadline, but if you pay attention you will also have noticed that the Sox generally get some new players after that deadline every year (Paul Byrd seems to be an annual favorite).

• After July 31st, all trades must be done through waivers, and if these players aren't acquired by August 31st, they are not eligible to play in the postseason.
• Teams can put any players on waivers, and they do not need to tell the players in question.
• Once a player is on waivers, other teams have 48 hours to put a claim in on that player.
• If multiple teams put in a claim, the team with the worst record in the league the player is currently on. If no teams from that league make a claim, the player goes to the team with the worst record in the other league.
• Once a player is claimed, their team has three options:

1. They can pull the player back. If this happens, he cannot be traded for 30 days.
2. They can work out a trade with the team that claimed him. Other players in the trade must also pass through waivers UNLESS they are not currently on a 40-man roster.
3. They can simply give the player to the other team, getting nothing in return, but the new team must pay the player's remaining salary.

• If no one claims the player, he can be traded to any team in the league.

So what does this mean for the Red Sox and Johnny Damon? First of all, it is very likely that the Red Sox put in a claim simply to stop the Yankees or Rays from getting him; since they are behind both teams in the standings, the Tigers could not trade Damon to New York or Tampa Bay once the Sox claimed him.

However, Damon has a no-trade clause that includes many teams, including Boston, so he can refuse to go, which would still keep him from the Yankees or Rays. Honestly, no Sox fan should be surprised, since there's been rampant speculation that the Sox would claim Manny Ramirez to keep him from their rivals, should he get placed on waivers by the fed-up Dodgers.

As for the wisdom of acquiring Damon? It can't possibly hurt this team's chances any more than the ludicrous 2010 Parade of Carnage, and Damon's former Sox teammates (Varitek, Papi, and Wake, chiefly) seem open to the idea. At this point, what do they have to lose?

Demonic No More

I have a locker in my dorm room. That might seem weird at first glance, but rest assured it's a Red Sox locker, and it's the envy of my Sox fan classmates. It's nothing too special, just a blue plastic locker with the team logo on it, with spaces for a favorite player's name and number. I got the locker when I was a little kid, and the name and number stayed blank for a long time, waiting for the right player to come along. Then came Johnny Damon, with his crazy hair, broad grin, and fun-loving demeanor; I loved him almost on sight, and so he went on the locker.

You can imagine my torment when, in the winter of 2005, Johnny Damon did what he swore he'd never do: he signed with the Evil Empire. Jesus had turned to Judas, and in a fit of temper I ripped his name and number from the locker. [I had a friend in high school try to put Pedey on there my senior year, but I took him down... I'm not taking any chances!]

Just like all of you, I swore to never root for the traitor, and it stung every time he complimented the Yankees. He seemingly erased his time in Boston from his memory, and I tried to do the same, but every day the locker was there.

Now that Damon is no longer with New York (what a stupid move on both sides), I feel free to remember the good times again. I've heard some speculation that the A's have the money to spend, and at first I felt gleeful: let Damon play with a noncontender after being spoiled by buckets of money in the Bronx. However, after some consideration I came to a different conclusion.


Johnny Damon would perform best in that Wiffle Ball Park in New York, but the carefree culture of Oakland might be somewhere he could have the most fun. The man is the proud owner of two World Series rings, and the A's could be a good fit for him. I'm not saying he wouldn't want to be competitive, but I for one would like to see that hair, beard, and idiot-mentality come back; the corporate New York style just didn't fit Johnny Damon.

Letting Damon go over a few million dollars was a stupid move by the Yankees' front office, and as a Red Sox fan, I applaud it. Now I can go back to remembering the good times, before he was "Johnny Demon"... and I can look at my locker without flinching.

Monday One-Liners

First let me apologize for my extreme delinquency in posting for the entire month of August; I was dealing with some very serious family issues, and then had to immediately be ready to return to school. In short, I had some good reasons, but I'm sorry in any case.

Now, on to the post. Like many of you, I have a rather large collection of baseball books, and each of them has its own share of classic one-liners. Because I need some laughs (and who doesn't on a Monday?), here's a compilation of "greatest quotes" from certain of my books:


"Since Dan Shaughnessy is the guy who invented this curse nonsense in the first place, I find it kind of odd that he keeps talking about it. He's a bright guy. I can't believe he actually believes in it. I guess the Curse of the Bambino has a better ring to it than the Curse of Dan Shaughnessy." (Page 102).

I know this book as a whole is sort of crappy, but this line is too good to overlook... I mean, the Curse of Dan Shaughnessy? Gold. As a side note, I realized that only crazy Red Sox fans like myself would bother to learn to spell a name as difficult as Shaughnessy when he's not even a player. Yastrzemski was one thing, but really...





"Every time I go someplace where the people have never met me before, they all tell me the same thing: I look fatter on TV... I always joke with them: 'Who do you think I am, Kevin Millar?' (Trust me, bro. Millar would say the same thing about me.)"

This just captures the carefree AWESOME of the magical 2004 team. Shots before the game? Fine. Calling a teammate fat in a national bestseller? Whatever. Honestly, Millar would undoubtedly say the same, and he has.







"'I began to think about the pinstripes?' The allure of the tradition?' 'Set my legacy?' Who spoke like that? You could have polished the entire fleet of New York City cabs for a year with all that polish."

And we all know about Clemens and the liniment, so I'll spare you that particular mental image once again, but I just can't resist a good shot at A*Rod's dignity.









"I kept teasing him [Pedroia]: 'They told me you were a second-rounder. I didn't know they drafted short, fat people that early. If I knew that, I would have just not grown and eat a lot of cheeseburgers.'" Also about Pedey: "Simmer down, Napoleon."

That one needs no explanation: this next one, however, means a lot to me on a personal level.

"Surviving cancer is, and will always be, my toughest battle. I laugh when people talk about how tough it is to deal with the boos of the fans or the high expectations of big market baseball. Hah! You want to know what tough is. John Kruk knows. Andres Galarraga knows. And Jon Lester has come to find out. When cancer comes calling, baseball takes a backseat. Having forty thousand people at Yankee Stadium tell me I suck is a nice diversion."


"What happened in player meetings, was supposed to stay in player meetings - sort of like the first rule of Fight Club."

Now, this book was not especially informative, or even well-written, and I definitely don't recommend buying it, but that line just made me picture a drunken Josh Beckett brandishing his fist in the face of someone like Josh Reddick, while the rookie pees his pants and the rest of the veterans look intimidating in the background. Red Sox Fight Club? Sign me up!







"Forget about A-Rod. We've got Mike Lowell in the house."

While that quote was attributed to the much maligned Manny Ramirez, its sentiment rings true. when it comes to championships, character, team spirit, resemblance to George Clooney,or just general awesomeness, Mikey wins. Every single time.





"Once, Francona was so frustrated with Ramirez that he told Ortiz, 'I'm going to kill him.' Ortiz listened and told the manager that he'd check on Ramirez. After a while, Ortiz returned with a smile and a statement: 'It's all right for you to kill him now.'"

Oh, the days of Manny and Papi... It's like good cop/bad cop. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss Manny (especially the way he's been hitting lately), but those were some good times.








"I came up next. And put a line drive over the Monster. With that bomb, I was only 742 home runs behind Barry Bonds on the all-time list."

"I always wanted to be a miniature badass."

Only Dustin Pedroia can deliver these two gems without a trace of irony. If you haven't read his book, do it now. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200, just read it.







I'll try to be better about posting, and if I'm being honest with myself, it's likely that this blog will come before homework (a girl's got to have her priorities - this is a pennant race!).