Attack of the Evil Umpires!

What is with the umpires lately?!? Joe West has recently been fined an undisclosed amount by Major League Baseball for a variety of bad behaviors, including publicizing his schedule, making some inappropriate remarks, and being a bit laissez faire with his ejections (just ask Mark Buehrle and Ozzie Guillen). Angel Hernandez just today made an absolutely terrible call today in a Tampa Bay/Toronto game, and has been ejecting players left and right.

Ozzie gets into it with Joe West.

But the most egregious blown call was made just minutes ago in Detroit, when Jim Joyce incorrectly called Indians' shortstop Jason Donald safe at first base. Donald was the 27th batter in the perfect game bid of Armando Galarraga. Even Donald was shocked, because it looked as if Joyce was about to signal "out," and abruptly changed his mind and called the rookie safe. To Galarraga's credit, he allowed himself just one fleeting look of disbelief, then promptly retired the following batter and ended the game.

Galarraga is the epitome of a class act.

Personally, I'm at once shocked, angry, indignant, and sad. I hope Johnny Damon and Jim Leyland are waiting for Jim Joyce in the parking lot after that blown call. Leyland looked angry enough as he shouted at Joyce after that last out, and as for Damon? I just want to believe that old "idiot" has a shred of empathy left - plus, he's totally the type to fight an umpire.

One of the unique things about baseball is the umpires: the lack of widely-used instant replay and timers give it a distinct human element that the other major professional sports lack. Baseball needs this element. However, one of the other great things about America's pastime is its history, and Jim Joyce single-handedly kept Armando Galaragga out of the history books this evening.

Now, until tonight, I had never heard of Jim Joyce, which means that he's probably a generally good umpire, as the most well-known are generally the worst of them all (ahem, CB Bucknor).

Baseball is not about the umpires. Far too many umps have thrust themselves into the spotlight lately, and MLB needs to do something about it. Bud Selig, for the love of god, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR UMPIRES! I understand that they have a powerful union, but this is getting ridiculous.

Now I know that Major League Baseball won't say it; so I will. Defiantly, rebelliously, and, in the eyes of MLB, erroneously, Off the Monster is making a statement: there are twenty-one perfect games in modern Major League history, capped off by the most recent, Armando Galarraga, June 2, 2010.

Josh Beckett is a BAMF

"I have yet to hit someone in the head and it's not on my list of fuckin' things to do."

The umpires said that resident badass Joshua Patrick Beckett was allowed to stay in the game yesterday after igniting a bench clearing confrontation with a wild pitch because "The Angels were the aggressors."  While that might be true, we all know the real reason Beckett wasn't tossed was that the umpiring crew was scared of the Texan's famous wrath.

I mean, a man who is unintimidated by Angels manager Mike Scioscia - even threatening to fight him, at one point in the scramble - is unlikely to think twice about waiting out an umpire in the parking lot to, ahem, give him a piece of his mind. Or, barring rational behavior from the fiery pitcher, Beckett might choose to call up his old hunting buddy Mike Timlin and challenge the crew chief, Joe West, to a good old fashioned Texas duel.  So, for all the posturing about Beckett not being to blame, it's obvious that the umpires were just too scared to offend the Sox ace.

But can you blame them?  I wouldn't put it past Beckett to have thrown near Abreu intentionally after he had the gall to call time so far into his delivery.  But does anyone for a second believe that if Josh Beckett really wanted to hit Bobby Abreu, he would have missed?  The only surprising thing about the whole scenario was that Boston's favorite badass didn't go on to win the game by whiffing every remaining Angel and celebrating with a fist pump, an f-bomb, and a tin.

"Come on Mikey, we can totally take him... Stop being such an f-ing wimp."