First, the explanation: Jason Bay is a ninja/superhero.
Impossible! You say Jason Bay is Canadian, one of our gentle neighbors to the north. But what better secret identity than the son of a smelter worker in Trail, British Columbia? If you've seen the new X-Men: Origins film, then you know there's no better alter ego than a Canadian... Sure, Wolverine went for the whole "lumberjack" thing, but Jason Bay doesn't like flannel.
Hugh Jackman likes flannel... and being a lumberjack.
Jason Bay knows it's easier to keep his cover at home in Canada, and it was MUCH easier in Pittsburgh (none of my friends from Pittsburgh understand why baseball is fun... I pity them). In Boston, Bay has to take sneaky to a whole new level. For instance, he asked Tito to bat him low in the order so people wouldn't see his conspicuous super strength in the cleanup spot; unfortunately, Youk couldn't go last night, so Super-Bay stepped in. BAM! Three run homer.
Even though Boston Red Sox fans would accept Bay's super powers, he still has to hide them, garnering this quote, concerning stealing bases:
"I didn't run one time in Spring Training. I didn't want to blow my cover."
Jason Bay is a phenomenal base stealer, at least percentage wise. I for one am convinced that the only reason he doesn't leave Jacoby in the dust every year is respect for the young man's ego coupled with the realization that being a super hero just leads to brawls with jealous Yankees fans. Jason Bay doesn't want to hurt anyone... Except maybe Joba Chamberlain, and that is one fight I would LOVE to see.
Jason Bay will see your HBP and raise you a three-run homer... Oh, and invisibility, he can do that, too.
(Just want to clarify that all quotes on this blog are collected from other sites, because I don't have the necessary credentials to get into the Sox locker room... and even if I did, it's finals week. I'm clearly very busy studying. This quote was found on WEEI.com)