JD Drew: "NO! Don't touch me! Awwww, Pedey... now I'll be on the sixty-day DL with an aggravated hangnail and a slipped disk."DP: "...Seriously, dude?"
Nick Green: "Yeah, I booked the dugout for this Tuesday.. So it should be a great time. No, of course Lugo's not invited, do you think I'm an idiot? ...Oh, hey Julio...*awkward silence*"
Rocco Baldelli: "Are those... fans?!? Wow, I guess I'm not in Tampa anymore. I do sort of wish they didn't follow me to my house every day. Especially that one guy with my name tattooed on his forehead..."
David Ortiz: "What kind of a name is Coco Crisp, anyway? At least he's not uptight about it."
Coco: "Who does this guy think he is, pouring milk on me? This is NOT in my contract."
George Kottaras: "Does he HAVE to touch my butt all the time? The knuckleball is the LEAST of my worries in this clubhouse..."
Mark Kotsay: "Stop hitting on my wife! Yes, you in the hat and the ugly shirt. STOP! I'm serious.... SECURITY!"
Jacoby Ellsbury: "I can't believe Boras thinks this will be good for my image... It's humiliating."
Mike Lowell: "What part of 'Don't hit on Kotsay's wife' don't you people understand? Because I've got his back."
Julio Lugo: "Maybe if I carry my kid around, the fans will love me... Or at least it might get me invited to Greenie's party... as if I WANTED to go, anyway." *cries*
Jason Varitek: "Ahoy! I am CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow... Yeah, this is a real sword, I'm going to threaten opposing pitchers with it... Selig said it would boost merchandise sales, so it was okay."
Dustin Pedroia: "BUT WHY IS THE RUN GONE?!!?"
Jason Bay: "Aren't we taking this 'Pirate' thing a little too far? No? Alright then, but no matter how long you keep me on this beach, I'll never get any tanner."
Kevin Youkilis: "That Lugo is such a primadonna... Does he really need TWO giant suitcases? It's not like he'll play, anyway, so they could leave his uniforms behind..."
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