"No-hitters are boring."

Jon Lester looks like he is SO BORED after tossing his no-hitter.

As I've said many times before, most of my friends do not care about baseball. This is fine with me. It is also completely acceptable that many of them do not understand the most basic underpinnings of the game, and that they have no interest in my explanations. To each his own, and all that jazz.

However, I totally flipped out on a friend of mine at lunch today, because he had the gall to make fun of baseball with logic that was not only flawed, but based on ideas which are just WRONG.

Thinking he was being witty (in actuality sounding foolish to anyone who knows ANYTHING about the game), he made some comment about how baseball is boring and/or stupid because a no-hitter is considered amazing, and it's a game in which nothing happens. Silly me assumed he knew what a no-hitter was, and asked whether he thought spectacular defensive plays to preserve a no-hit bid were "boring."

Gosh, DeWayne Wise, this is SO BORING. I bet even perfect-game author Mark Buehrle is bored looking at this.

This led to the realization that he had absolutely NO IDEA of what a no-hitter really is. He was under the impression that "no-hitter" meant that no batter made any sort of contact with the ball, and that the whole game was essentially the pitcher and the catcher tossing the ball back and forth, and that it meant that the pitcher would have accumulated twenty-seven strikeouts during the game.

I explained to him that this was, in fact, fallacy in the highest degree, explained the true definition, and added that the record for most strikeouts in a single game is twenty, held by Roger Clemens (twice), Kerry Wood, and Randy Johnson. He continued to argue with me, claiming that some pitcher had struck out twenty-seven "At least once in the last forty years."

At this point, I gave up. Clearly, not only did he have no interest in what was actually true, he couldn't possibly understand the degree of difficulty that would be involved in actually striking out twenty-seven Major League batters, and why any true baseball fan would LOVE to see a game like that, in which, by his definition, "nothing ever happens."

Jason Varitek must have had the most BORING career ever... I'm sure he was practically falling asleep during those four no-nos he caught.

Halladay makes history

Last fall, in the immediate aftermath of the World Series, my Phillies fan friends were less than ecstatic. Trust me, I told them, I KNOW how badly it sucks to lose to New York. And then came the news of that blockbuster December trade... You know, the one that sent Cliff Lee to Seattle, Roy Halladay to Philadelphia, and prospects to Toronto so they could start "rebuilding."

MKy roommate, a casual Phillies fan from South Jersey (VERY different from North Jersey, as I was constantly told), was very upset. She didn't know anything about Halladay, and Lee had been the only bright spot in that lost World Series. "Trust me," I told her, "You will absolutely LOVE Roy Halladay."

[Not to mention how much I was going to love watching his brilliance when it didn't often come against MY team, for a change.]

She was skeptical, but let it go - I'm guessing by now she's forgotten that the conversation even took place. At the time, I at first couldn't believe that she didn't know about the excellence that was Doc Halladay, and then I checked myself: Halladay had never played in the playoffs, and had spent his whole spectacular career buried in the American League East. There was no reason that a casual fan of a National League team WOULD know about him.

Well, they've all heard of him now. After the perfect game in May, Halladay went on to have a shut-down season for the Phils, and last night he tossed a one-walk, no-hit gem in Philadelphia to put the Phillies up 1-0 on the Reds in the NLDS. Oh, did I mention that it was only the second no-hitter in Major League history, after Don Larsen's perfect game in 1956?

And in his first postseason start ever. Yeah, I feel pretty good about that offhanded comment last December: Philadelphia is LOVING Roy Halladay.