Why Jason Collins matters

Living in Massachusetts, where same-sex marriage has been the law of the land for nearly a decade, it's easy to forget that things aren't so simple for the rest of the country. I'm sure we've all seen the tweets from homophobes near and far, berating and threatening Wizards center Jason Collins for coming out as gay in a Sports Illustrated editorial, but the reaction from most people I know has been to shrug and give a variation of, "So what? Who cares?"

But Jason Collins matters. Sure, we've had retired professional athletes come out before, and all cited fears of retribution as their reason for waiting. It is a huge deal to have an out player in the NBA, and yes, it's because of his visibility.

I am a straight, white woman living in Massachusetts, and I cried when I read Jason Collins' editorial. I try to keep my politics out of this blog as much as possible, but this hit too close to home. I've written about my mother before in this space, but I've been vague enough to never clarify that I had two mothers.

My mothers and me with my sister and my brother-in-law, at their wedding in 2009.

It's not a secret anymore, but when I was growing up in rural New Hampshire, my parents risked losing their jobs if anyone knew about the nature of our family, so I had to tell any curious friends that I had two moms because they were "roommates." Of course, there were some parents who saw through the veneer, and told their children to avoid my sister and me, as if lesbianism was something contagious they could catch by riding bikes or jumping rope with us. The people who clutch their pearls and ask "What about the children?!" are the real problem - my childhood would have been perfect without the influence of their bigotry.

So what does all this have to Jason Collins? As far as me, personally, not that much. But every high profile, well-respected, out and proud gay person is another strike against homophobia. Children shouldn't have to keep a fundamental part of their very nature a secret from their parents. Parents shouldn't have to rely on their children to lie about a loving, nurturing family so that the neighbors don't have to rethink their own outdated biases.

Jason Collins wrote a beautiful editorial about the acceptance of his family and close friends, and I hope that the messages of support from teammates, opposing players, and fans far outweigh the inevitable and horrifying vitriol that's sure to come from some people. His presence in the NBA and the public eye means everything to millions of people and their families.

Is it unfair to Collins to ask him to be the standard bearer for gay men in professional sports, and by extension a role model for LGBT youth everywhere? Of course it is. In an ideal world, Collins would represent only himself - but we don't live in an ideal world. Jason Collins matters because he has been brave enough to stand up, when no one else could or would - and he knows he's not standing up only for himself, that this announcement means the world to thousands of little kids, gay and straight, all over the US and the world.

I am the worst blogger ever.

I am SO sorry everybody. It's been three weeks (three weeks!) since I've last posted - and unlike last year, I don't even have the whole "I'm in another country, there's no internet!" excuse.

The only thing I can offer as an explanation is that I was busy graduating from college. So that was cool, and I'm working as a camp counselor this summer, so I should be able to be better about updating (though I'm not sure how many games I'll actually be able to watch, since I don't know the TV/cable status of my summer housing).

I'm unemployed come mid-August, however, so that will leave me with ALL the time in the world to blog (and to send my resume to every single business in the Western Hemisphere). Rest assured, regular posting about baseball will resume immediately, and I'll do my best not to let any more big life events interrupt my blogging in the future.

Life, school, and baseball

Anyone uninterested in a post that's more about me than the Red Sox (I suspect that's most of you) can come back later for a reaction to the sacking of Tito.  Right now I need an outlet, and since this is my blog, I feel entitled to use the space for that - at least once.

This morning, I got up at seven to take the LSAT.  Through a series of unfortunate events (and several dimwitted and sleep-clouded actions on my part), I missed the test.  I was upset, obviously, but as I drove back to school, I realized that I was much more distressed about the fact that I wasted $140 (a sum I don't really have to throw away) than the fact that I wouldn't be sitting the exam.

Lately I've been thinking about the future (an inescapable pastime for a senior in college - especially in the current economic climate), and I'm suddenly not as sure as I used to be that I even want to be a lawyer.  It's always been my dream to work in baseball; I've always said I don't care what I have to do, as long as I can be around the game.

My first choice would be to earn a living in sportswriting, but you don't generally get offered a job at The Globe straight out of college, particularly if you don't have a journalism degree (TrinColl doesn't offer that major).  It used to be that you would pay your dues at a small local and/or regional newspaper, and then hopefully your if your work was good it would get recognized by a national publication and you would move up the ranks. Now, as many of you know, those smaller newspapers are in trouble, much more likely to be shedding payroll than taking chances on unknowns.

The next best thing would be to work for a team, in any capacity.  Baseball is a well known boys' club, steeped in tradition and notoriously difficult to break into. Given the game's established proclivity for hiring men, and especially former players, I assumed that (as a woman who last played even softball in high school) my best bet was to get a law degree and try to work with contracts, either with a team or for an agency.


In the last few weeks, I should have been studying for this test. I bought the review book, I had free time, but I couldn't bring myself to sit down and focus on it.  I just wasn't passionate about any of the material, and even less excited about the prospect of mortgaging my entire life away for three more years of education that I have no way of paying for.

I've always been so sure about my direction in life; I was a third grader with a twenty-year plan for my future, and now I'm floundering.  I'm sure this is nothing new, or even unusual, but it's particularly jarring for me because I have always known what my next step should be.

I don't flatter myself that I could make a living as a writer at this point in my life - I need a LOT more practice - and so I'm lost. I don't know where I should be looking, or what I should be doing, and I'm going to be dumped (ceremoniously, in a cap and gown, but still dumped) into the cold, cruel world in seven months.  The only thing I'm still sure of is my love for baseball, and the Red Sox (yes, even after this disgrace of a season).  I know I've been absolutely terrible at keeping up this blog in 2011, and I'm sorry. I hope to be better while I figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

[Also, for anyone who managed to slog through all that existential crap, I thank you. To show my appreciation, here's a video of Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky baseball players putting on a show - during a rain delay.]