Seriously Unserious: Episode 3

Check out episode 3 of Seriously Unserious - a satirical look at real sports headlines.

Bruins fall in Game 1

Despite an early lead, the Bruins lost the first game of the Stanley Cup Finals early this morning during the third overtime period. For those of you not totally familiar with hockey, that means that the Bruins and the Blackhawks played the near-equivalent of two regulation length games, for a contest that spanned more than five hours and took place on two different days.

There was some speculation that the two days off in between each game were somehow excessive, but as one of the scores of fans who were up until the wee hours of the morning, I personally might need two whole days to recover. I was never good enough at hockey during my short failed high school playing career to truly understand how exhausting it is to play for an entire game. Indeed, I think I could count the number of shifts I played in two years on one hand - my field hockey prowess didn't translate well to the ice.

In any case, hockey has to be one of the most physically demanding team sports, combining the physical stamina required for basketball (but with the added challenge of skating rather than walking), with the hand-eye coordination of baseball (with the additional restraint of a huge layer of protective gear), with the brute force of football (only hockey hits can happen at much higher speeds). The whole thing is insanely intense, and two days to recuperate from last night's marathon game is only unreasonable if you think they deserve three or more.

I also think that the two days off will prove helpful for the Bruins in terms of momentum - by Saturday evening, Wednesday's loss will seem like ages ago. Any momentum that the Blackhawks might have derived from such an exciting OT win will have pretty much dissipated, and though the Bruins will be playing one game down, they will have had time to shake it off. They'll come back and win on Saturday, and go on to win the Stanley Cup.

Bruins take game seven!

If you've ever read this blog before, you know I'm a baseball fan above all else. I love baseball. I am literally one of those people who eat, sleep, and breathe baseball (as in, I have Red Sox tableware, Red Sox bedding, and if I had asthma, I would get a Red Sox inhaler). But I also enjoy other sports, and naturally I'm a fan of all the Boston teams.

I always forget how much I love watching hockey until I'm actually watching hockey. I rarely tune in for a regular season Bruins game, instead making lame excuses about how it's hard to watch on TV (kind of true) and how much better it is in person (absolutely true). But I do watch the playoffs, and I'm not someone to miss a game seven in any sport.

I never even knew the basic rules of ice hockey until I went away for high school, and somehow found myself living on an isolated Maine campus surrounded by hockey nuts. It was pointless to resist their influence, and my first year I watched every single home game, boys and girls, JV and varsity - I don't do things halfway. I quickly came to love the sport, but now, five years removed from my high school graduation, I often forget how wonderful watching hockey can be.

Tonight's game seven reminded me, as exciting games will. Patrice Bergeron scored that overtime goal and I leapt from my chair in exuberance. There's a certain kind of exhilaration that comes with sudden death overtime that you just can't capture with extra innings - hopefully the rest of the Bruins playoff run can have the success of this evening's win without the strain on my nerves.

Congratulations hockey fans, the lockout is ending!

I am not a diehard Bruins fan, but bandwagon at best: ask me to name five players, and I'll happily obige, but ask for five more, and I'll be stumped. However, I really do enjoy watching hockey. I went to high school at Hebron Academy in Maine, and if a hockey school ever existed, that one was it. I even joined the girls' ice hockey team my junior year, though I had never played before, hoping my field hockey prowess and my childhood ice skating would make me at least a mediocre player. It was, to say the least, a failed experiment.

All that being said, I am absolutely THRILLED that the NHLPA and the NHL have finally come to an agreement. Unlike many of my friends, the many months of missed games have not ruined my winter, but I will be very happy to have hockey in my life again.

I was only four years old when the 1994 World Series was cancelled because of a labor dispute, and to be perfectly honest, I don't remember it at all. I can't even imagine what it must be like to wait all year for a season that never starts - and for hockey fans, this is the second time in a decade, though at least this lockout will have a happier ending that the '04-'05 version.

What I'm trying to say (in my own meandering fashion) is congratulations Bruins' fans, and hockey fans all over! Lockouts hurt the fans much more than the owners or even the players, and this is a day worthy of celebration for YOU. Even if I'm not a diehard hockey fan, I know how the announcement of a season's kickoff feels, and after all you've been through this winter, you deserve some good news.