Seriously Unserious: Episode 3

Check out episode 3 of Seriously Unserious - a satirical look at real sports headlines.

David Ortiz is better than you.

Source

He's better than all of us, really. And without a doubt, better than the Minnesota Twins. It's pretty obvious that David Ortiz has never quite forgiven the Twins for not giving him the chance he deserved at the beginning of his career - since joining the Red Sox in 2003, he's absolutely dominated against Minnesota.

In 55 games, Ortiz has hit at a .344 clip, with 17 home runs, and an incredible 1.106 OPS. Last night alone, Big Papi had four hits, including two homers, and four RBIs. I'm sure the Twins executive who approved Ortiz's release regrets it every day - and assuming that person still has a job, last night must have been extremely painful.

But just like last October, amazing production from Ortiz is not enough to win games for the Red Sox. Perhaps he needs to pull his teammates aside for another pep talk - the AL East standings will only remain a mess for so long.

Standings check-in

It's official: the AL East is a mess. Just 4.5 games separate the first place Orioles (18-14) from the last place Rays (15-20). The Red Sox, finally back at .500, are in fourth place - but just two games behind the O's.

The winningest teams in the American League are the Tigers and the A's - and they have just three more wins than the Red Sox. It may be only a month into the season, but this kind of parity keeps things exciting - and will keep a less than stellar start from the Sox from overwhelming their chances later on.

Meanwhile, the Rays should be thanking Bud Selig and co. for switching the lowly Astros to the AL, because without them Tampa Bay would be in the basement all alone.

The AL East standings are probably about to get more stratified, as Baltimore will welcome the Astros to Camden Yards to extend their lead, while the second place Yankees have to head to Miwaukee to face off against the Brewers (who are currently holding onto the best record in baseball).

The Red Sox won't have it easy if they want to continue to pick up ground; the Rangers might be in third place in the AL West, but they always seem to give the Sox trouble.